Adjusting ... and Accepting

Over the past few days I've been slapped in the face by reality. I discovered something, and although I was desperately trying to avoid it, I have realized that some things cannot be helped.

I will not be one of those women who only gains 20 pounds during pregnancy. I will not be one of those women who only looks pregnant from the side profile. I will not be one of those women who only eats fruits & vegetables and lean protein during pregnancy. I will not be one of those women who is still running 4 miles a day the day before they give birth.

I am one of those women who gains weight according to her body's predetermined genetic programming. I am one of those women who gains it in her ass, thighs & hips. I am one of those women who indulges in the occasional ice cream, DAILY carbohydrates and lots of snacking during pregnancy. I am one of those women who can no longer run a mile, and that seemed to happen overnight.

If you've been reading this blog you know that I've been keeping up with my workouts during this pregnancy. I still participate in Body Attack 2-3 times a week and I've also been jogging on the treadmill 2-3 days a week. It still feels good to workout and I've been listening to my body to know my limits and I'm definitely not pushing myself to run farther or faster. This morning, however, my body decided it needed to have a little chat with me. It let me know, in no uncertain terms, that it no longer enjoyed jogging for longer than 5 minutes but that brisk walking was no good either. My shins were burning and I was only walking at a 3.9 mph pace. When I jogged at 5 mph I was winded after 5 minutes. It was only 2 weeks ago that I was able to run almost 1.5 miles with no problem whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, though. I still plan to go to the gym regularly. I will just take my intensity down another notch (or two) in order to maintain a healthy pace.

And I weighed myself today. I've officially gained 20 pounds at 23 weeks pregnant. For some reason I feel like this number will more than double over the next 17 weeks. I'm not complaining about it, because I know that my body is doing what it needs to do to GROW ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, but it does start to get a bit annoying to think that all that exercise has had little effect on my total weight gain.

Yes, I admit, I am eating more. And it's simple math, really. If you consume more calories per day than you burn you will slowly gain weight. But I also rationalize it with the fact that I lost the weight once and I know I can do it again. My goal for after this baby is born, and AFTER I recover from the emotional breakdown(s) I experience postpartum, is to return to the weight that is listed on my driver's license. I don't think I've been that weight since I got married.

Here are a few recent pictures:

22 weeks


23 weeks


An apparently I haven't figured out which side I'd rather pose with, so you get one of each this week.

Father's Day

I caved and gave Joe his Father's Day gifts on Saturday because I couldn't wait any longer.



Brandt and I Painted Ourselves Silly to make Joe this plate. Mostly I painted and Brandt just played in their play area until I needed his hands for the hand prints. Joe and Brandt made me a coffee mug for Mother's Day so I thought I would make Joe a plate for Father's Day. This can now be his breakfast plate, since he usually makes himself eggs & toast every morning.

I also got him a new pair of khaki shorts, but I won't post a picture of those because, well, they're shorts.

Sun Safety or Child Abuse?

This is what Brandt has been wearing to swimming lessons the past two weeks.



I should start saving for his therapy fund now.



All joking aside, my kid has super fair skin (just like me) and I really want to protect him from too much UV radiation. I don't slather on the sunscreen all the time, so he does get his daily vitamin D requirement when we go outside. (My dad has expressed his concern about not getting enough vitamin D because people put too much sunscreen on.) I can assure you that the primary reason I use this outfit is out of pure laziness on my part because I don't want to deal with the slimy sunscreen and fidgety toddler. I still put sunscreen on his face and ears because he usually takes the hat off after 10 minutes, max.

I need to go to the dermatologist and get checked. I know I'm at risk for developing some kind of skin cancer because I was in the sun a lot as a kid and got several bad burns. I also spent a few months going to tanning beds, which are just as horrible as the sun ... probably worse. My mom has also had several skin cancers removed and she has avoided the sun most of her life, so if there is any kind of genetic link I know I could be at a higher risk. Joe had skin cancer removed from his nose a few months after our wedding, and he just recently had a mole biopsied because it looked suspicious. Luckily it was NOT cancer.

I'm not super paranoid about the sun, but I'd rather maintain my pale complexion instead of tanning if it means less risk of cancer. And my poor kid will be the albino-looking child in his long-sleeved swim unitard and floppy hat. At least he's still too young to really know about summer fashion.

Getting Around To It

I keep thinking of a fun to-do list; things I would love to do if I had extra time on my hands. This is what I've come up with:

1. Go through ALL of our CD's and put my favorite songs on the iPod. I did this a little bit when I first got the iPod a couple years ago, but I never went through all of our music. I would enjoy some fresh music to listen to where I could also reminisce about what was going on in my life when I first listened to those songs. Belinda Carlisle, anyone?

2. Get a few new pieces of furniture. We've been looking for a cushioned leather-type ottoman/coffee table to replace our current kid un-friendly, sharp-cornered, blunt-force-head-trauma-of-a-coffee table. We need something decent looking but cheap, since we have a 2 year-old and another baby on the way. I really don't care if the thing only lasts us 4-5 years, since it will get beaten up by both kids and cat.

3. Planting some prettier bushes in our front courtyard. We have this one plant that looks so pitiful and I really don't care for it, anyway. I'm thinking a nice Bird of Paradise would be good there, something bigger & with more color. Or maybe a Hibiscus. I really suck and keeping indoor plants alive, so I'm trying a lot harder with our outdoor plants. I need ones that are heartier.

That's all I can think of right now, but it's a good start for fun things to try to accomplish this summer.

Miscellaneous Update

Joe and I found out yesterday that our second baby will be a girl. It was very exciting and validated my initial suspicion that I was having a girl. Everything on the ultrasound looked good, and the doctor seemed pleased with the baby's development and growth at this point. She's also very happy about my weight gain, since it's been gradual and not excessive like last time. I also double checked about exercising and my doctor still completely recommends I continue what I've been doing. She said she wishes more women exercised while pregnant. I only point this out because I've been asked a few times if I should still be running and/or doing Body Attack. The answer is yes.

Oh, and I also made sure to ask about the left side sleep situation. She said it's fine if I also sleep on my right side, and if I do end up on my back I would wake up short of breath before any harm came to the baby if I happened to be in a position that restricted blood flow. Luckily Joe was at the appointment and heard this information so now I don't have to listen to him constantly correct my sleeping position during the night.

Joe and I saw The Hangover yesterday and I thoroughly enjoyed myself for that 90+ minutes. It is definitely a movie we will have to see again ... and again ... and again, in order to fully appreciate all of the humor. I would also like to point out that Bradley Cooper was very enjoyable to watch, the combination of his long dark hair and blue eyes and little bit of scruff. He did play kind of an ass in this movie, similar to his character in Wedding Crashers, but he was way better looking as Phil than he was as Sack.

Also in the entertainment catergory, I'm really bummed I won't be able to attend a concert in Septempber because it is in Phoenix and I will be 36 weeks pregnant. I really enjoy P!nk and I was so excited to hear that she was headlining in the U.S. since she has mostly only performed in Europe. I saw her I'm Not Dead concert on tv a while back and I was hooked. I guess I will have to wait for this concert to come out on DVD. Here is a clip of one of my favorite songs.

Half Baked

Today marks the halfway point in this pregnancy, although I'm pretty sure I was halfway there a week or so ago since I probably won't make it to the full 40 weeks. I took a picture the other day and I've been debating whether or not to post it because I'm in my bathing suit. And women generally don't like pictures of themselves in bathing suits, but add that to being pregnant and you're pretty much guaranteed an unhappy lady. I figured I'd suck it up and just post it, since you can really see the belly better with the bathing suit on.

I've been having trouble sleeping comfortably and I think that's due to the "left side" rule. They say you are supposed to always sleep on your left side when you're pregnant because it puts the least amount of pressure on your organs and arteries. I know I posted before about only being able to sleep on my left side since having Brandt because I got used to it when I was pregnant with him. Since that time I have managed to be cured of my left side syndrome, because now I can't seem to stay comfortable that way. I really want to sleep on my back, but I know that's not the safest position. You always want what you can't have.

Another interesting, um, *development* has been my boobs. Specifically my, um, *headlights* - I sometimes feel like I could be one of those jungle women on a National Geographic documentary with the size of those things, aside from the fact that I'm way too pale to survive in the jungle and I don't have large discs hanging from my ear lobes. Gina told me that a lactation consultant once told her that the "headlights* get larger with each baby ... so yay.

I've been feeling the baby sporadically, mostly in the morning when I'm laying in bed ON MY BACK. That's the easiest way for me to feel it, so if I don't notice movement for a while I will get on the floor and prod around until I feel it poke back. I feel a little more paranoid this time around and I'm not sure why. Although I've been secretly putting 2 scoops of regular coffee in with 2 scoops of my decaf for the past few weeks. Shhhh ... don't tell Joe.

Just for a little comparison with the above picture, here's a picture of me when I was just under 6 weeks. It will be a while before I see that belly again.

Wish List

The following are things I am hoping for. Some are current wishes and some are post-pregnancy wishes.

1. I want to take a Photoshop Elements class at Pima Community College this summer so I can finally be mildly competent with the software I've had for over a year and have done NOTHING with. The only crappy part of the class is that it's located downtown, which is no less than a 30 minute drive, so combine that with finding regular childcare for 3 hours at a time pretty much means I will have to wait a bit longer to take the class. Unless, Mom, you or Dad want to commit to being down here regularly in July?

2. Wine: any red will do. Hell, I'll even take a good Riesling right now. I am seriously missing this, and summer doesn't help when every barbecue & swim party has a ton of beer. And combine being pregnant with having our house on the market AND caring for a two year old all day AND having a realtor only call your land line to show your house and NOT THE CELL PHONE so I didn't get the message until 5 minutes before they were showing up and my house had 72 toys scattered everywhere and I seriously needed to vacuum ... well then, a glass of wine would have really been nice right about then.

3. Laser hair removal. This will have to be post-pregnancy and probably post-nursing, since they told me the topical numbing cream they use can pass to breast milk. So early 2011 I'm estimating. But I would seriously love to have this done so I don't have to worry about shaving anymore.

4. A weekend "off." I told Joe this will be happening sometime this summer, and while I appreciate that it makes him sad to leave Brandt for any amount of time, I would appreciate it more if he would be slightly excited about having a weekend together, just the two of us. He does acknowledge the importance of spending a weekend away, but he feels terrible about leaving Brandt. Then I feel guilty for forcing the subject, even though I know he doesn't think my primary goal is to leave our son but really to reconnect with him. I've never spent a night away from Brandt and I don't think that's healthy. I need time away, just to recharge and focus on myself and on our marriage. Because at least in my world, having a kid has put our marriage on the back burner and I think we need to re-prioritize a bit.

That is all for now, and for the most part (aside from the laser hair removal) I think most of these goals will be accomplished in the near future, a sip of wine included. Don't judge. I didn't say a bottle of wine.