I Wrote A Letter

A week ago last Saturday (the 15th) I worked all day and got home around 5:25. I picked up some yummy Mexican food since Joe suggested it, one of the rare times we actually order out. I put everything on the table and we sat down to eat. Joe and B had been playing all day so the house had toys everywhere but I figured we'd deal with it right before bedtime, since he would continue to play with everything until then. And when I say toys I don't mean a few Hotwheels. The kid takes out every truck and car, no matter how large, so we had his Cozy Coupe out, his tricycle, and most of his dump trucks. Very cluttered.

The doorbell rings around 5:45 and I look out the window to see a woman peering back. She had two ladies with her. I realize at this moment that she is a realtor and when I open the door she is going to ask to show our house.

!!!!

Let's pause there to really think about this request. Would any decent human being ring someone's doorbell around 6pm on a Saturday evening without calling first?

I explain that we're in the middle of dinner and she says, "oh this won't take long." I tell her the house is a mess because we have a two and a half year old and she says, "don't worry about it." So here I am with 3 strangers standing in my doorway and I felt completely obligated to let them in. What the f*$! did I care at this point, since we're taking our house off the market on September 4th anyway. The people felt awkward (duh) and they barely came into our house, probably because they were afraid of tripping over toys. So thanks, obnoxious realtor lady, for unfairly showing these people our house.

So I wrote a letter to the realty agency she works for:

(WHY CAN'T I COPY AND PASTE TO BLOGGER?! Argh! I have to retype the whole thing)

To Whom It May Concern:
I would like to express my discontent with ****. On Saturday, August 15, 2009, **** rang our doorbell with the intention of showing our property to her clients. She did not call beforehand, and made no attempt to make an appointment for a formal showing. I found this to be extremely unprofessional and inconsiderate. It was close to 6pm on a Saturday evening and my family was in the middle of dinner. We also did not have the opportunity to tidy up our home so her clients were not presented with a fair representation of our house. **** insisted it was not a problem that our house was not clean, but I felt blindsided and obligated to allow her clients into our home since they were standing right there. I would have appreciated even a 20 minute advance phone call and I hope **** can understand our frustrations with her actions.
Thank You,
Joe & Karen Bober

So yeah, I wasn't happy but I felt my letter was to the point and not overly critical and that it politely stated my frustrations. We did get a follow up letter from the agency, and although there was some version of an apology in there, it mostly just provided reasons (excuses) as to why the agent did what she did.

BUT, they did send me the most wonderful apology gift ever from Edible Arrangements. I think anytime someone thinks of sending someone else flowers for any occasion (aside from a funeral probably) they should reconsider and send an edible arrangement. Because YOU CAN EAT IT. And it's the most amazing fruit ever! So just a thought, if you know anyone having a baby you could always send this to the hospital instead of flowers ...

I'm just saying.

A Whole Lotta Crazy

(Points to myself)

Yesterday was weird and after lunch everything got really nuts, mostly due to my own bout of the crazies. Brandt went to preschool and everything was fine with that, although he was crying when I picked him up but the teacher assured me he'll be fine and it won't take much longer for him to completely adjust. She also gave me the impression that he was really well behaved compared to some of the others, considering out of the class of 10 there are EIGHT boys. I feel for those teachers.

I took B to lunch at McDonald's to make a little peace with his rough morning and then drove around for a bit to get him to sleep. He fell asleep just before 1pm and as I was carrying him into the house the cat decided to have the loudest conversation in the world with me and WOKE HIM UP. Like wide awake and not going back to sleep. I was livid. Ready to put the cat in the backyard and say, "fend for yourself, because you aren't welcome here anymore." I put B back in the car (because I was in no mood to deal with reluctant sleeper/wide awake crazy that he was at that point) and we drove for 30 minutes. I would have driven all freaking afternoon if needed. He finally fell asleep and I got him into bed and he managed to sleep until 3pm.

But then I started noticing something: the baby hadn't moved in a while. I had a bowl of ice cream and laid down. Nothing. I drank a bunch of cold apple juice. Nothing. I drank 3 glasses of ice water. Nothing. I was trying not to over think this, because sometimes I didn't notice a lot of movement during the day because I'm distracted by other things. But for some reason that afternoon was really concerning me.

I called the OB nurse at my doctor's office and she recommend I go to the hospital to get monitored just to be safe. It was 4pm and Joe didn't leave work until 5pm and I had B with me. I tried to hold off on going and I laid down some more and concentrated really hard on finding movement. I think I felt 5 kicks within 4 hours, so not great. I got some snacks together and packed up the portable DVD (just in case) and took B with me to the hospital. He was really hyper but the staff kept insisting that he was one of the better kids they'd seen ... liars.

Joe got there a few minutes after the nurse hooked me up to the monitors. She could hear the baby moving around, although she did say the baby was at a weird angle and that's probably why I didn't feel a lot of movement. The heart rate was good, and of course the baby started moving within 10 minutes of getting hooked up to the monitors so I started to feel really silly (read: crazy) for going to the hospital over something that turned out to be nothing. Not that I was hoping for something to be wrong just for validation, but I was more disappointed in myself for not holding out longer at home. Because if I had waited even another hour I would have been reassured by plenty of movement. Instead I just looked like the paranoid pregnant lady who went the hospital just to hear her baby's heart beat.

AND! To make things even more annoying for me, we had someone look at our house while I was gone and I didn't exactly leave the house in great condition. B had played with a bunch of toys (not surprising) and he had turned over our ottoman while he was playing. For some reason I didn't think to turn it right side up before I left, so these people who looked at our house probably thought we are some kind of animals leaving furniture upside down and stuff scattered all over our house. Not to mention laundry that hadn't been put away. BUT!!! I was a little annoyed the agent didn't call my cell phone, otherwise I could have explained the situation to him. Ugh.

I felt so ridiculous (read: crazy) yesterday evening, and of course the baby decided to throw a dance party after 8pm and wouldn't stop moving for almost an hour. I'm a little concerned that she'll have her days and nights mixed up since she has a tendency to be REALLY active at night and not so much during the day. But at least I had some peace of mind after hearing her heart beat at the hospital. I just feel like a complete idiot as a result.

Preschool

AKA: 2 hours twice a week all to myself. Brandt started his Lambs class today - he will go every Tuesday & Thursday from 9:30 - 11:30. He did really well getting ready this morning, and we kept talking about school to prepare him a little bit. I'm hoping he will enjoy it since it's mostly a playtime with some other activities thrown in. I know I'm happy about having a little extra time to myself, although I think 2 hours will fly by too quickly.

I took his "first day of school" picture in our front yard. I combed his hair and used some hairspray, although I think I will avoid the styling products for a while because he just gets crusty and his hair won't stay in place anyway.

I took this picture right outside his classroom. The teachers asked the parents to say goodbye at the door and then leave as to not prolong any goodbye tears. I don't know if Brandt started crying because as soon as he walked into the room I left. I did take a quick peek through the window and I saw him turn around expecting me to have followed him but I figured I should leave before he saw me. I'm interested to find out how it went.

I'm hopeful that he will enjoy school, and I'm definitely glad he's starting now so he gets used to it before the baby comes in October. A lot of transitions happening in the next few weeks ... I'm hoping he still goes with the flow.

Baby Shower

My mom threw a little baby shower for me on Sunday and it was really nice. The theme was "nesting" so everything had bird accents. She did such a nice job with decorations and food, and luckily it was not pink overkill.
These were the place card holders and I really like them a lot. Although my mom thinks this picture would look better if it wasn't crooked. I disagree.

Bird nest cupcakes. Really cute idea where she just got plain cupcakes from Costco and then toasted some coconut and added a few pink jelly beans to the top.

We received very nice gifts and everyone seemed to have a good time. I think the shower flowed nicely and was laid back and not rushed. I enjoyed the day a lot, since it was the first time I have had a full day without Brandt so it was refreshing to be able to just sit and talk with people without getting up every 45 seconds to follow him around. I needed a little break, as evident from my previous post. Hopefully Joe and I will be going to a hotel this Friday night to spend a night together, which it will be nice to reconnect with Joe since we don't get a lot of time to be with each other without also focusing attention on B at the same time. But mostly I'm hoping this weekend will allow us to sleep later than 6am.

Unmentionables

Things that no one talks about, because it's generally considered awkward. I'm struggling with a lot of unmentionables right now and I don't know where to turn. I feel like I should go talk with a professional, but that costs money and money is one of the issues that is currently part of the problem.

I don't know if it's a valid explanation but I wonder how many women experience PRE-partum depression. I know I suffered from some postpartum anxiety after I had Brandt, but I never had any of the feelings before he was born that I'm working through right now. I'm on edge a lot and sad, and I feel disjointed and scared. I know postpartum depression is something that more and more women are admitting to experiencing, thanks in part to people like Brooke Shields and more recently, Heather Armstrong. (Tom Cruise can go to hell). It seemed that prior to Brooke Shields, postpartum depression used to be synonymous with Andrea Yates, which was the most horrific story I have heard regarding such severe depression. Although I firmly believe that her husband is 50% responsible for several reasons, but that could be just me watching too much A&E Biography while I was pregnant with Brandt.

Brandt has been exhibiting some more challenging behavior recently and that seems to amplify my negative feelings, mostly because some days I feel defeated before 8:30 in the morning and wonder how I'm going to get through the next 11 hours. It's not his fault, he is just working through his own set of emotions and developmental milestones. But the more times he kicks and screams because he doesn't want to get in his car seat, or when he refuses to sit in carts and runs all over the store, the more I feel useless and inefficient and emotionally exhausted. Not to mention physically exhausted. So how am I going to keep what little sanity and emotional well-being I have left when I add a newborn to the mix?

Speaking of our new addition, I have done NOTHING to prepare. Aside from ordering nursery bedding that is currently on a shelf in the closet that will eventually be hers that is still half full of crap I need to deal with. I'd like to sell a lot of it, or just donate it. I'm into purging excess because unless it's some form of nostalgia (like pictures or important documents) and you haven't seen it in three years, chances are you won't miss it. I have a real aversion to clutter and it makes me nuts that there is still crap in this closet that I can't work through.

Money is the final unmentionable on my list of things that are weighing me down at the moment. So awkward, right? No one talks about money because it makes everyone uncomfortable. But, eff it. I was so close to returning to full time work last fall but I didn't get the job then because they had put it on hold. So Joe and I decided to pursue a larger family, and wouldn't you know it, 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant they called me back to discuss the position again. I knew I couldn't take the job, although I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO. It was back in HR with a large company with good benefits. And I was SO ready to have some sort of professional identity back in my life. But I also knew I wouldn't qualify for FLMA or any kind of short term disability, so they wouldn't be required to hold the job after I had the baby and I knew I would want to stay home for a decent amount of time after the baby's arrival, and I would have felt bad committing to a job just to leave it 8 months later. So I continue to work 15 hours a week at Hallmark, which is fine, but it's doesn't have a huge impact on our net monthly earnings. A few hundred extra dollars, which definitely helps with groceries but I still wish I could contribute more financially.

To sum up, Joe and I (combined) earn less than my previous salary when I was employed full time. Just my salary. Never mind that Joe was earning very good commissions before he was laid off. But we're okay, not super, but definitely treading water closer to the shallow end where our toes can at least (barely) touch. But it's still stressful and has been an adjustment to learn how to save any way we can. We don't go out to eat unless we have a gift card or it's a really special occasion. I use coupons, compare prices down to the cost per ounce or cost per unit, I only buy things if they're on sale AND I have a coupon. I stock up at Costco and we eat a lot of the same food because I can get a lot of leftovers out of it. Luckily both our cars are paid for, but Joe still has this nagging concern that something will go drastically wrong with one of our cars and there is no way we can afford a car payment. But we'll manage that if it ever happens, fingers crossed it doesn't anytime soon. Although I do fantasize about upgrading to a minivan. Which is kind of depressing since my former self used to drive a red Mustang convertible. But when the day finally comes that we can upgrade to a minivan, you can bet your ass it won't be white or silver. I love red cars, so at least I can feel somewhat cool about driving a minivan ... if that day ever comes.

I think I just needed to vent a little, and I'm feeling better as I finish up this post. I talked with Joe and I called my mom and vented to them both. I think that's a huge part of it, needing to feel validated and just being able to vent my frustrations to someone. It feels good just to get it all out.

28 Weeks

No picture yet, but I can assure you that my belly is still growing larger. I went to the doctor today and I GAINED 7 POUNDS IN 3 FREAKING WEEKS! Crap. Oh well, pregnancy is definitely the time to indulge more with food because you are expected to gain weight and stuff your face with ice cream. So I will continue to stuff.

I also had my glucose test today, which wasn't bad because I had the option of drinking orange syrup or fruit punch syrup. I chose fruit punch, which really only tasted like concentrated gatorade and I like gatorade so I didn't mind guzzling 4 oz of the stuff in 45 seconds. We'll see how my results come out. I go back in 2 weeks. I can't believe I'm already at the 2 week intervals ... time is going to fly by now and I really have done nothing to prepare. I went to breakfast with two friends on Sunday and one of them asked to see the baby's room when she dropped me off. I showed her our guest room/office, because that will eventually be the baby's room but right now it still has a queen sized bed and a computer desk in there. And we still haven't picked out a crib yet. So the baby might not have a place to sleep but at least she'll be able to update her twitter status. Although I did show my friend the crib bedding that's still packed up in the closet. That is the extent of the nursery. We're working on it.

I'm also starting to get more nervous and more excited. Nervous because I know how anxiety-inducing the first few weeks with a newborn are, and nervous because I will also be taking care of a two and a half year old at the same time, and nervous because OH MY GOD I WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN! But, I'm also excited to watch the dynamic of our family evolve, and excited to meet the little baby girl in my belly, and excited to share the baby moments with Brandt as he becomes a big brother, and excited to breastfeed again. Yes, I just wrote that. Of course I probably will be singing a different tune in early November, so stay tuned for my "I've officially lost my mind, what was I thinking by having another baby, I just want to sleep!" posts. I can't promise coherent sentences, but those posts will definitely be honest depictions of life with a newborn AND a toddler.

Is 2 days after having a baby too soon for a glass of wine?

Is This Normal?

Do all 2.5 year olds throw fits when their mothers try to put them in their car seats? Or is it just mine? I swear I'm barely holding it together. When it's just me and Brandt he fights me so hard that I worry people walking by are thinking I'm abusing my child. I have to physically hold him down, but he's getting so strong and clever about this process that I can't even do that anymore. It took me 15 minutes to get him in his car seat this morning when I was trying to leave the gym. I even got in the backseat and stood over him to try to get a better position to restrain him, but I couldn't get him to sit, or hold him down long enough to get the straps around his arms and locked.

When Joe is with me, or ANYONE else, he's fine getting in the seat. When it's just me and him he throws a complete shit fit about it and refuses to sit in the car seat. It's getting really old really fast, and I'm getting to the point where I'd rather stay home than deal with getting him back in the car if we go anywhere.

And then my dad, who helps out a TON when he's down here visiting, said something kind of irritating this morning. He asked if the hormones were affecting me more because I'm pregnant, as if spending 15 minutes in a HOT PARKING LOT FIGHTING WITH A SCREAMING TODDLER wouldn't bother a non-pregnant, non-hormonal person. But maybe it IS just the hormones ... in which case I guess I have all the more reason to throw my own tantrums because I can blame it on pregnancy.

Next time it happens I hope I can figure out how to video record it, so you can all see that I'm not just a crazy pregnant lady.