Friday, July 25, 2008

You're Not Fat

Fat is what happens to you the weeks after you push a baby out of your vagina ... or in my case, have one cut out of your belly.

If you're a woman you've no doubt felt "fat" at some point in your life. And while some of us (me) obsessed over food and thigh circumference, others might have only felt a tad bloated every now and then and moved on. But still, we've all felt it at some point.

Looking back at my pre-pregnancy body I realize how completely out-of-whack my perception of my body image was. I wasn't fat. Until I got pregnant, and then I didn't really care because I had a cute belly and you were allowed to gain weight. When I was 38 weeks pregnant the scale read 195 ... that's when it finally sunk in. I was fat. And after this baby comes out I will still be fat. I, unfortunately, will not be giving birth to a 60 pound baby. Dang it.

The weeks after Brandt was born my belly was floppy and droopy and squishy. Not unlike what you would visualize with the phrase "bowl-full-of-jelly". I jiggled. And when I laughed at my belly, it jiggled even more.

That's what fat feels like.

But I'm proud to say that I've done something about it. I feel great about my body and am no longer self conscious when I wear a bathing suit. I'm not skinny and I still have thigh fat, but you know what? Who freaking cares! We can't all look like Heidi Klum did 8 weeks after giving birth. I feel so much better about myself now than I ever have in my entire life. It's so much easier to not obsess.

I'm not saying this body-image transformation happened while I sat on the couch and ate Cheetos. I've worked hard, and I think just going to the gym 3-5 days a week has helped me feel this way. I pushed myself harder than I ever have and I feel strong. I feel healthy. And even though I'm not the size 4 I used to be, I feel so much more content with who I am.

3 comments:

Short and Sweet said...

AMEN and it's about time! You look fabulous and no one should be a size 4...EVER! Although when I weighed 103 pounds (soooooooo many years ago) I was a size 3! That will never happen again. Yes, you are content with how you look and who you have become and we are so proud of you. Again, I stress that you look healthy and fit. The Body Attack classes have paid off.

Rachel said...

Good for you! You're finally realizing what we've all been telling you for years--that too skinny is no good. Now do the world a favor and go kick Heidi Klum's scrawny little ass! ;-)

Gina said...

Right on, sistah! Yay to mommies who stay healthy!