Seriously

I know I sound like a broken record, but balancing work & family is proving to be quite upsetting. How do you choose between a fulfilling career and being home with your children? If I had the choice, I would want to stay with my kids. I desperately want to be the Mom who's always there, dropping off & picking up, going to activities and helping out with the classroom.

But we need the money, so I can't be that Mom.

I rely heavily on my parents to do the picking up, and the errands, and the after school activities. And I am sad that we can't afford for me to be that person. If I did stay home, we wouldn't have the money to do after school activities or save for family vacations. Or have our car.

And then I think about things like retirement, and saving for the future. I used to have a "career" where I worked for a large company with fabulous benefits & a matching 401K program. I had a good salary, got to travel for work, and genuinely enjoyed my job. Due to a site closure, I got laid off when I was 7 months pregnant with my first baby. Which I was fine with at the time, because Joe was making a very good income in the mortgage industry, so I figured it would be a good transition to stay home with my 1st born and be a SAHM.

Then the mortgage & housing industry collapsed and we were part of a growing number of families struggling to find work and maintain a solid income. We had a savings ... a good savings, so that is what truly saved us for a few years during that time. I took on a part time job working a few evenings a week and that helped out, too.

Then Lillian was born and I stayed home again while she was a baby, not going back to part time employment until she was 15 months old. And since then it's been a constant struggle between working too much and not being available to my family, or not working enough and going "backwards" financially by borrowing from savings.

After all of this I am constantly questioning my role within my family. I want to contribute financially, but I want to be the Mom who's there for her children. And I realize that working outside of the home teaches my children the importance of a good work ethic and earning money to provide for our family. But am I missing out on their childhood ... are they missing out on me?

How do you make it work?

Balancing Act

I've been trying to find a happy medium between working and being with my kids. Struggling to make ends meet on just 1 income isn't something our family can afford right now, so I've been working part time for the past few years to fill in the gaps.

I'm at a point where I strongly dislike my current job and am starting to contemplate what's most important right now. Obviously family is #1 on that list, but I also need to balance my own personal happiness while making sure we can provide for our family.

Choosing to work outside of the home VS needing to work outside of the home. Right now I need to and I don't want to take on a job where I'm miserable. Because it's not worth it.

Trying to find balance when I feel most unbalanced right now.

Back in Action

I just noticed my last post was over 1 year ago. Occasionally I've thought about blogging, I just haven't made time for it.

But recently, I was reminded that I should focus more on writing because (some) people seem to enjoy reading what I write. So, there you go ... I'm going to try to keep up with this.

Needless to say a lot has happened in the year that I haven't blogged. Here's a quick synopsis:
1. We moved to a bigger house (finally!)
2. I switched jobs, still part time but now with a schedule that is more compatible with being home with my kids.
3. Brandt started kindergarten!
4. Lillian turned 3 and had a painting party at our new house.
5. We went to Disneyland
6. I spent my first night away from my kids. Ever. That's a momentous milestone for sure. Sad & pathetic, but momentous none the less.

I will make a conscious effort to keep up. And if people enjoy reading, thank you. I do appreciate that :)

Swagger Wagon

We finally got a new car and I couldn't be happier. A black Chrysler Town & Country that we purchased through our brother-in-law, who is a General Manager at Jim Click Chrysler Jeep.  I was surprised (and excited) to discover that the "base" models come standard with a build in DVD player, so we are SET for road trips.  I do realize that a minivan is on the opposite spectrum from what I used to drive: a red Mustang convertible.  But I'm happy to have "evolved" to a Minivan Mom.

Train Station

We had our pictures taken professionally this year.  And by professionally, I mean an actual photographer not by someone who works part time at Picture People.  They turned out great, as you can see from my previous post about our Christmas card.  Here are a few more pictures.

Merry Christmas!

I got my Christmas cards through cardstore this year and I think they turned out great.  They are a little pricey so it pays to wait for their coupon codes of 60-70% off.  And they always have free shipping.

Revolving Door

I think my Walgreen's pharmacy has a revolving door because I have been gotten antibiotics 3 times in 2 weeks.  Brandt started with strep throat, so round one of amoxicillin.  Within a day he was better: running around, playing, acting completely fine.  12 days later the fever was back, along with the same symptoms he had before.  Back to the doctor we went, this time picking up stronger antibiotics from Walgreens.  All was fine and happy in our world until Wednesday night when Lillian started a fever.  One call to the pediatrician and we were back at Walgreens for more amoxicillin ... this time for her.

Sick kids are no fun.

But, we are trying to prevent this from happening as frequently in the future.  Brandt is scheduled to have his tonsils and adenoids out in a few weeks.  He had been snoring a lot, and tended to breathe through his mouth quite a bit, so the Ear/Nose/Throat (ENT) doctor recommended the surgery.  We were skeptical at first, since it's surgery and Brandt hadn't had strep throat or any tonsillitis (at that point, anyway) so the more we thought about it, the more we leaned toward canceling the surgery.

Then strep throat attacked our household and Brandt had such a bad case that he needed the stronger antibiotics just 12 days after he was diagnosed the first time.  So surgery it is!  And we're hoping it helps not only with his throat and snoring, but also with his eating habits.  If his tonsils are that big maybe once they are gone he'll be able to eat more food because of less obstruction in his throat.

Fingers crossed our kids get well and STAY well ... because WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!