Seriously

I know I sound like a broken record, but balancing work & family is proving to be quite upsetting. How do you choose between a fulfilling career and being home with your children? If I had the choice, I would want to stay with my kids. I desperately want to be the Mom who's always there, dropping off & picking up, going to activities and helping out with the classroom.

But we need the money, so I can't be that Mom.

I rely heavily on my parents to do the picking up, and the errands, and the after school activities. And I am sad that we can't afford for me to be that person. If I did stay home, we wouldn't have the money to do after school activities or save for family vacations. Or have our car.

And then I think about things like retirement, and saving for the future. I used to have a "career" where I worked for a large company with fabulous benefits & a matching 401K program. I had a good salary, got to travel for work, and genuinely enjoyed my job. Due to a site closure, I got laid off when I was 7 months pregnant with my first baby. Which I was fine with at the time, because Joe was making a very good income in the mortgage industry, so I figured it would be a good transition to stay home with my 1st born and be a SAHM.

Then the mortgage & housing industry collapsed and we were part of a growing number of families struggling to find work and maintain a solid income. We had a savings ... a good savings, so that is what truly saved us for a few years during that time. I took on a part time job working a few evenings a week and that helped out, too.

Then Lillian was born and I stayed home again while she was a baby, not going back to part time employment until she was 15 months old. And since then it's been a constant struggle between working too much and not being available to my family, or not working enough and going "backwards" financially by borrowing from savings.

After all of this I am constantly questioning my role within my family. I want to contribute financially, but I want to be the Mom who's there for her children. And I realize that working outside of the home teaches my children the importance of a good work ethic and earning money to provide for our family. But am I missing out on their childhood ... are they missing out on me?

How do you make it work?

Balancing Act

I've been trying to find a happy medium between working and being with my kids. Struggling to make ends meet on just 1 income isn't something our family can afford right now, so I've been working part time for the past few years to fill in the gaps.

I'm at a point where I strongly dislike my current job and am starting to contemplate what's most important right now. Obviously family is #1 on that list, but I also need to balance my own personal happiness while making sure we can provide for our family.

Choosing to work outside of the home VS needing to work outside of the home. Right now I need to and I don't want to take on a job where I'm miserable. Because it's not worth it.

Trying to find balance when I feel most unbalanced right now.

Paleo - Day One

Yesterday I started eating the Paleo way. Mostly I'm just eliminating processed carbs, grains & dairy (except for eggs). So far it's been a good transition. Here's what my day looked like yesterday:

Breakfast:

• 2 scrambled eggs
• black coffee with honey

Lunch:

• 1/2 steak
• salad (kale, chard, romaine, spinach) with olive oil & seasoning & avocado - I was out of balsamic vinegar which I didn't realize until after I had made the salad.
• 1 apple with sunflower seed butter
• pumpkin seeds

Snack:

• almonds & pumpkin seeds

Dinner:

• 1 apple with sunflower seed butter

I worked last night from 4pm - 9pm so I didn't get home from work until 9:20. By then I knew I wasn't going to make an official dinner, and I actually wasn't all that hungry either so that's why I opted for the apple & sunbutter. I do also realize that I need to incorporate more vegetables ... I'm working on it.

I'm pretty excited about this way of eating because I don't have to measure food or count calories. I just eliminate the processed carbs & grains & dairy and continue to eat lean meats & fish. I haven't felt deprived and hungry like I felt before when I was on a traditional diet.

Although you're not supposed to weigh yourself daily, based on my morning weight yesterday & my morning weight today, I've lost 2.5 pounds. But being female with shifting water weight I know that the scale fluctuates a lot during the day so I'm not overly convinced it was due to one day of eliminating processed foods. Who knows.

And while I might not follow the Paleo diet 100%, I do feel better about eliminating the processed sugars & carbs & grains.

Back in Action

I just noticed my last post was over 1 year ago. Occasionally I've thought about blogging, I just haven't made time for it.

But recently, I was reminded that I should focus more on writing because (some) people seem to enjoy reading what I write. So, there you go ... I'm going to try to keep up with this.

Needless to say a lot has happened in the year that I haven't blogged. Here's a quick synopsis:
1. We moved to a bigger house (finally!)
2. I switched jobs, still part time but now with a schedule that is more compatible with being home with my kids.
3. Brandt started kindergarten!
4. Lillian turned 3 and had a painting party at our new house.
5. We went to Disneyland
6. I spent my first night away from my kids. Ever. That's a momentous milestone for sure. Sad & pathetic, but momentous none the less.

I will make a conscious effort to keep up. And if people enjoy reading, thank you. I do appreciate that :)

Monday

Monday is my new favorite day of the week.  Both Brandt and Lillian go to school on Mondays so I get almost 4 whole hours to myself.  By. My. Self.

Alone.

Last week I used that time to clean out their rooms and donate some toys & items that had definitely seen better days.  I also tried to remove clutter from the rest of the house and tidy it up a bit.  Although you'd never know since the "clean" lasts until 5 minutes after the kids get home.

We are most likely putting our house (back) on the market to try to once & for all to sell it.  This time it will be a short sale, though.  We've mostly given in to this idea and are ready to move on.  The house is too small and too expensive for our needs.  We're not as upside down as a lot of people but it's still enough to get the heck out.  All the stress and worry and frustration and fear ... I'm ready to let go of it.

Moving forward.  Starting fresh.

Occupational Hazzard

You know what's fun about working at a financial institution?  Not this:

Armed Robber hits Tucson Federal Credit Union

Midtown has been robbed twice within the last 3 weeks.  Luckily I work at the East branch, but it's still very scary to think about this happening at all while I'm at work.

Swagger Wagon

We finally got a new car and I couldn't be happier. A black Chrysler Town & Country that we purchased through our brother-in-law, who is a General Manager at Jim Click Chrysler Jeep.  I was surprised (and excited) to discover that the "base" models come standard with a build in DVD player, so we are SET for road trips.  I do realize that a minivan is on the opposite spectrum from what I used to drive: a red Mustang convertible.  But I'm happy to have "evolved" to a Minivan Mom.

Train Station

We had our pictures taken professionally this year.  And by professionally, I mean an actual photographer not by someone who works part time at Picture People.  They turned out great, as you can see from my previous post about our Christmas card.  Here are a few more pictures.

Revolving Door

I think my Walgreen's pharmacy has a revolving door because I have been gotten antibiotics 3 times in 2 weeks.  Brandt started with strep throat, so round one of amoxicillin.  Within a day he was better: running around, playing, acting completely fine.  12 days later the fever was back, along with the same symptoms he had before.  Back to the doctor we went, this time picking up stronger antibiotics from Walgreens.  All was fine and happy in our world until Wednesday night when Lillian started a fever.  One call to the pediatrician and we were back at Walgreens for more amoxicillin ... this time for her.

Sick kids are no fun.

But, we are trying to prevent this from happening as frequently in the future.  Brandt is scheduled to have his tonsils and adenoids out in a few weeks.  He had been snoring a lot, and tended to breathe through his mouth quite a bit, so the Ear/Nose/Throat (ENT) doctor recommended the surgery.  We were skeptical at first, since it's surgery and Brandt hadn't had strep throat or any tonsillitis (at that point, anyway) so the more we thought about it, the more we leaned toward canceling the surgery.

Then strep throat attacked our household and Brandt had such a bad case that he needed the stronger antibiotics just 12 days after he was diagnosed the first time.  So surgery it is!  And we're hoping it helps not only with his throat and snoring, but also with his eating habits.  If his tonsils are that big maybe once they are gone he'll be able to eat more food because of less obstruction in his throat.

Fingers crossed our kids get well and STAY well ... because WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!

Freebies

I have several codes for free 8x8 books on Shutterfly, so I made one:

Click here to view this photo book larger

Thirty One

I turned 31 on the 19th and had a really good birthday weekend.  Joe and Brandt made this wonderfully pink cake for me.  When I asked B if Lily helped make the cake he said, "No, she doesn't know how to make cake."  Good point. 

I also treated myself to a *new* bedroom with new bedding and wall accessories.  I got the bedding & wall art at Kohl's at an amazing price.  Somehow the three wall pieces were on a special markdown, because after the discounts and my 30% off coupon, they were $8.50 each.  Crazy deal and I'm thrilled with the results.

The decorative vase on the nightstand was another super deal I found at Ross.  It had been marked down several times and when I looked at the final price sticker I knew I had to take it home with me.  You can't beat 99 cents.

I've been working at Tucson Federal Credit Union and I absolutely love my job.  I will be working more the next few days because one of my coworkers will be out last minute due to a family emergency, so I will be almost full time this week.  That will be hard to balance home & work, but I will appreciate the extra money and I know it won't be permanent.

Joe and I are also considering getting a new car, probably some sort of minivan.  We're debating between the Chrylser products (either the Town & Country or the Grand Caravan) or a Kia Sedona.  Ideally, we'd love a Honda Odyssey or Toyota Sienna, but they are probably out of our price range.  I'm hoping we make a purchase soon ... It will be nice to have the extra space & storage in a vehicle.

So far 2011 has been immensely better than 2010, so I'm hoping for continued health, happieness, and security.  Our family is in a good place right now and it feels perfect.

New

New Year.

New Job.

New Body.

New POST!  Freaking finally, right?

Happy New Year!  The first few weeks of 2011 have flown by - we've all been super busy.

I got a new job that started January 3rd.  I am a part time teller at a local credit union and I am so happy with this job.  I think I said it best in my Facebook status: LOVING my new employer! It's definitely hard to be away from my kids, but it's also oddly rejuvenating to be working in a professional environment again. It's only been 2 days but I already feel happier as a person and happier as a mother. I'm also thrilled to finally be contributing financially to our household. And my kids are in great hands with my parents - so far it's a win/win situation :) Happy 2011!!


As for the new body, I'm planning to renew my gym membership now that we have more income (thanks to my new job).  I really need to work on improving my fitness level, for both my physical & mental health.  I haven't been this out of shape in a very long time - it's frustrating & disappointing.
 
I'm also trying to get more organized.  I've found a few sites that are really helpful so I thought I'd share with you as well:
 
http://www.simplemom.net/
http://organizing.yourway.net/
http://www.mint.com/
 
Have a great 3-day weekend!

Hi

I know.  It's been a while.  I have no excuses other than I was in a funk.  I wasn't feeling productive or good at much with my day-to-day life, so I didn't feel inspired to blog about anything.  Pretty much this is my summary: blah, blah, blah ... stuff happened.  Going forward I will try to be more active with posting.  I've been good at twitter because it's quick and easy and doesn't require a huge time commitment.  So read that if you want more details of the past two months.

Speaking of keeping up with blogging, how do others do it?  Specifically The Pioneer Woman, MckMama, The Spohrs are Multiplying ... because they have children and household responsibilities and other things to accomplish on a daily basis, yet they manage to be VERY active with blogging and tweeting.  I have absolutely no idea how they do it.  I also have no idea how their houses are not falling apart.

Anyway, here are a few quick pictures:

For more pictures, click here.

A Wedding? I LOVE Weddings!!

I really do, because there's food and drink and CAKE.  Joe and I went to my friend Patricia's wedding on Sunday at the Ritz Carlton at Dove Mountain.  She's one of the many who got married on 10/10/10.  Clever.  I completely understand, since Joe and I were married on 02/04/06.  I like the number thing.

Anyway, here are a few highlights.  The ceremony was outside in the afternoon, just before sunset.  A beautiful backdrop of the desert with just enough sunlight and rambling minister to make the maid of honor *almost* pass out.  Seriously, the minister was going on and on and on, talking in circles, and a lot of it wasn't relevant to the wedding.  After the maid of honor almost fell down, he wrapped things up.  Which makes me think that maybe she did it on purpose?  In which case I applaud her efforts.

Cocktail hour was wonderful.  As we walked to the outdoor patio area we were greeted with servers carrying trays of wine & beer.  That's one of the many things I love about the Ritz Carlton: the service.  They are always right there with whatever you need, even before you realize you need it.  Wonderful hors d'oeuvres of empanadas, beef wellington, spiced crab puffs, and meats & cheeses.

They did the first dance before dinner, and continuing with recent trends, it was a fun choreographed dance.  They started dancing to "The Way You Look Tonight" and then it morphed into "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas.  Very entertaining, and I'm bummed I didn't have my camera set to video fast enough.

Dinner consisted of 3 courses: lobster bisque, pear salad, and an entree choice of steak, chicken or fish.  We had steak and it was definitely the right choice.  The filet was very tender and we could cut it with a butter knife.  Later in the evening they served coffee & cake, and while I didn't love the cake as much as I had hoped, I LOVED the coffee.

Then, as Joe and I were walking to the car, I fell down some steps and scraped up my leg.  NOT because I was tipsy, because I wasn't, but because one of the lights on the outdoor steps was out and I didn't know there wasn't a step there.  Pretty.

We got home and my parents had successfully put the kids to bed, although Lillian protested a bit because she's used to me nursing her right before I put her down.  But my mom managed to get her to sleep just fine.  Joe and I had a great time and I'm happy that we were able to go.