1 week post partum is hitting really hard. I'm barely holding it together. I have an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow afternoon and I hope it helps to talk with her about all my feelings. I honestly don't know how people get through this, other than they do so I know I will too. But when you're in the middle of it, it truly sucks. I feel like I can barely function, trying to take care of a newborn without feeling guilty for not spending time with B. She hasn't been sleeping at night and seems to want to eat every freaking hour from 10pm - 4am. I just want to sleep for 2 hours uninterrupted. I have no appetite and I know I need to eat but nothing sounds good. Yesterday I ate two cinnamon rolls and a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. So far this morning I have had 4 bites of toast. My boobs are sore and bruised and I'm going to call a lactation consultant today to try to fix the damage that has been done. Mostly I just need to get out of the house. I'm going to get dressed now and take B on his tricycle around the neighborhood while I push her in the stroller. Hopefully that helps.
I forgot how emotionally draining this is, and I can honestly say this will be my last child.